Even in Death

I’ve come to a point in my life where I now wear suits and ties more often for deaths, rather than celebrations like weddings. Nothing hits closer to home with this truth than using my own two hands to bury a family member, then two weeks later be in a bridal party and marry off a friend. Crazily enough, this happened to me twice, with the second time being only two days between a funeral and a wedding. Another anomaly that has hit me these past few months is having not lost one grandparent in my 33 years on this earth, but then to suddenly lose both of my grandfathers in a matter of 4 months... I mean...what the heck is going on here?

...All of these events seems to be a bit abrupt and confusing... ...But, I guess this is the way it was supposed to go...this craziness that is my life... ...I guess this is God’s will...

...I guess I'll adapt... ...I guess I’ll learn... I’ll learn to be flexible in weird times of celebration and grief. Being able to breathe, reflect on the weirdness of timing in my life, and God being able to anchor my emotions and thoughts. Especially in this time of a majority of death. My thoughts always gravitated towards the gospel and the good news in Christ. But they were clouded with my own judgment of the faith of the individual. I always had a graceful approach both towards my grandfathers and to God, but there was always a reservation in my heart in response to their faith. Did they really believe? Did they really confess? Was there really an honest acceptance and remaining? ...I don’t know. And more importantly, how can I judge that? How can I judge a relationship or a faith? And you know what? ...I can’t. These past 4 months I’ve learned that my connection with death to my friends and family members are no longer connected to salvational doctrine. But rather the divine character of the author of salvation. I can trust in God. In His sovereignty. In His grace. In His mercy triumphing over judgement... Even in death... Because. Of. Who. God. Is.